I never knew I had it in me.

I'm discovering what it's like to truly care about someone. I'm what some might call anhedonia, or apathy. I call it a general mistrust in the sense of well being while in the company of others. Longer name, yes but a bit more specific. I've never been one to think of someone before myself. Survival is the name of the game after all. But recently things have changed in the way I look at people, all the sudden I'm actually caring about if they are warm enough or if they're hungry. Things like moving to an uncomfortable position just so that they can be more comfortable is actually starting to matter to me. Weird. I wasn't a cold hearted person before this switch. I just had no reason to really care. I liked those I was around well enough to tolerate their semi snotty and self righteous attitudes, but with them, around them, inside their circles, I thought of me first. But to actually worry about another human that isn't my immediate family, for me is just plain out of character. Watching over someone while they are sick or to drive them to the doctors and be planning on how to take care of their needs when we get home is a new feeling. I never knew I could be this kind of person. A care taker. I like it, I like caring about someone else using my energy to see to the welfare of someone other than myself is starting to grow on me.