In between the few quiet moments when Boy is sick and asleep...

Went dress shopping today. Not wedding or prom dress shopping, just a dress to make me feel like I can take on a man in a suit. You know, a dress that fits like a dream and makes you feel like one to. One of those dresses. I tried on a good number of dresses and each one making me  feel tubbier and chubbier by the stitch. I'm not a fat kid, I have a good figure. I have curves though, and sometimes those curves make life hard by having odd curves within the curve. Take my hips for example, they are rather ample and compliment a great butt. However my hips have an odd inward curve before hitting my thighs. It's a curve interrupting a curve, and it's not attractive. I might add that I don't work out anymore and that may or may not be a root cause of recent low self esteem concerning my figure. Pressing on though; my Mom, Dad and Boyfriend went with me to the stores, even though I told said Boyfriend he didn't have to come inside just to sit around waiting for one dress to be tried on after another. He looked down at me, gives me a wink along with a smirk and says "I have excellent taste when it comes to women's dresses". Given that it takes him less time to get my clothes off without even wrinkling them than it takes me I suppose he does know his fair share. As I'm taking one dress off I notice that i'm not as slim as I thought I was, but I pay no mind to the momentary lapse of the usual vanity I shroud my doubts in. But as the dresses come on and off in their turn I start to obsess over the flaws I see. So much so that now i'm writing about them. My self image is usually pretty stable, I tell myself at least one compliment in the mirror a day, along with the compliments I get from others about my body I'd say I'm not one to have body image issues. Yet, there I was in front of the mirrors checking off one by one the tiniest imperfection I laid my eyes upon. To make matters worse I got home and whilst Boyfriend slept I looked up actresses and scoured their looks to try to see what made them different from me. I'm no expert but my best guess is they have the money to afford the expensive hair product, the time to (also money) have a professional carefully coif their tresses to perfection, and i'm not sure if i've mentioned it but they have the money to hire a personal trainer who will work with their schedule to keep them fit and trimmed. These actresses also tend to have better diets and substantially more self control when it comes to soda, sweets, and fatty meats. All in all... I like me, I like that i'm relaxed about my diet but I have GOT to start working out again cause hunnies this lil' chicky-poo wants her bod back in shape.